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My husband and I have known for a long time that we're procrastinators. Luckily, we accept each other just the way we are.

He's learned to work with his tendency to procrastinate in ways I haven't. I've just become used to setting my own priorities. First, it was my mother (one of the worst procrastinators I've ever met) who set them for me, then her voice in my head. I was in the process of replacing that with my own voice when I got married to my ex-husband and got entangled in a cult, so they set my priorities until a couple of years ago when I extricated myself from both and found myself clueless about how to prioritize the things I decided are important to me.

Much less important are clean dishes and a spotless floor. Much more important is running my own business without anyone snooping into my minute-by-minute activities. I revel in the freedom to waste my own time reading blogs or interacting with other artists in forums. I revel in the freedom to help start a marketing cooperative for Portland craftspeople who sell on Etsy. I can admit to - nay, relish! - the fact that two weeks ago the dishes in my sink had mold growing on them!

Still, I've never understood why I am the way I am. I have a huge list of things to do, that I want to do, that are important and that I know will make me happy once they're done, yet I don't do them. Why, oh why do I get so easily distracted from doing them and commit to yet more activities to prevent myself from getting around to that ever-growing list?

My husband sent me a link to an article the other day and it was one of those "oh, wow, that's me" type of articles. The article was on structured procrastination. It described what I do perfectly. Whatever is currently at the top of my list of things to do, I will do almost anything to avoid working on until the deadline is so pressing I have to drop everything else to get it done. I make piles of beads, so photographing them is a really high priority... but I have to get my garden in now, because I want fresh tomatoes this summer, so the beads sit. There are no clean dishes to eat off of... but I have orders to get ready to ship by 4 o'clock, so the dirty dishes sit. I need to start working on my project for TotusMel's tatting challenge... but I have beads I need to photograph, so the project gets put off. See how that works?

I have to trick myself so I get things done. I have to reprioritize everything so my real priorities aren't as high on my priority list, so I'll do them when I need to evade the things at the top of the list that in actuality can be put off because getting them done is less critical to either a) survival or b) the success of my business. Like the article says, it does require some self-deception.

So, now that I got this blog written, which I could only do after spending two days getting caught up on my blog reading and joining another professional group, I can go load the dishwasher because the bathroom really needs to be cleaned!

Yes, it's true. This past week I've been fairly involved, offering moral support and doing a bit of sleuthing because one of the lampworking artists on LampworkEtc.com, where I spend a good deal of time sharing and learning, discovered that several members of our community had been victims of fraud.

The whole thing has unraveled into something resembling one of those bizarre late night crime shows.

A popular (alleged) lampworker on Etsy, it was discovered, has been buying up large quantities of beads on eBay and directly from lampworkers online and at shows, then breaking sets up into singles and small sets and reselling them at shows and on Etsy for a profit, claiming they're the work of her own hands from her Milan, Italy studio (while simultaneously claiming on another Etsy shop that she was a pastry chef in Texas).

Once the discovery was made, artists from all over came forward to identify their beads, and their work was verified in many cases by the wonderful paper trail of eBay's sold items and from their own photo archives. It was a bit of a shock, to say the least, that someone would have the brass to claim other's work as her own on a venue like Etsy, but she'd done it dozens of times. Sadly, although multiple complaints from those whose work she claimed as her own were submitted to Etsy, her Etsy bead shop is still open.

Her face should be on an FBI wanted poster for internet fraud.

A lot of people were hurt, their good reputations and talents used by this person. But ironically, where compost is thrown, flowers do indeed bloom when the light of the sun shines. From our online community of LampworkEtc.com, word spread to the self-representing jewelry designers' community and to IndiePublic. People started coming to read and to ask, who really made the beads I bought from Ullja?

It was an amazing and beautiful thing to see. The world is so big, but when people reach out, it's small enough that a designer wanting to put a name to a set of beads she'd designed her jewelry around could come and find The Truth.

It's not officially summer, but it sure feels like it. The shockingly high temperatures have left me feeling like a slug, although I did get some yardwork done yesterday with the kids, and this morning had the old shed doors taken away so I can have my backyard deck back for summer lounging. After we replaced the doors with a real operational door for easy access to my studio, I'm afraid the old doors just sort of laid there.... for a long time... just taking up space. But now they're gone, woohoo!

The lavender trees are in full bloom, as are the azaleas, which got me in the mood to mix some frit and try to get a summery feeling in my beads. My current spacer sets are more colorful than usual, and I'm feeling like I'm finally breaking out of the funk I've been in. I tried my hand at murrini this week but the results were horrifying so I'm not showing anything until I've worked with it a lot more!

On the heels of my rant about self-promotion, I realized I've been thinking of advertising for the last year and for one reason or another, it hasn't happened. My son's troubles at school, the damages to my home by a bad contractor and subsequent loss of my home, moving and setting up a new studio, more assessments for my son and finally some good solutions for him, then the implosion of my web site and having to rebuild it... so many things going on, I was torching part-time at best.

Things have settled down to a nice routine now and I'm getting time at the torch most days, so I decided to try a little advertising. Project Wonderful seems to have hit the scene at the right time. Its structure is perfect for my type of business and I can set limits on expenses, so I can dip my toe in the water and see how hot it is.

So, for May and June, if you got here from my ad, I'll throw in a bonus bead when you order. Just add a comment here letting me know your order number, which web site you came from and how you ended up visiting it.

Advance warning: this is a bit of a rant. Sorry!

I was sitting in a waiting room the other morning and I had a few minutes to kill, so I picked up a magazine I would never have read if it weren't for my doctor's strange (to me) tastes in periodicals. The magazine was called Details. It appeared to be some flavor of GQ for the young and hip male. Still, I did learn some important facts about tooth whitening processes.

The article that really caught my eye was Welcome To The Age of Self Promotion. Sadly, to me, it proclaimed that hard work isn't enough to get ahead. You have to tell everyone how great you are. Be a walking resumé. Do that whole social networking thing. Make yourself appear to be indispensable. Invent the internet or something, or at least tell everyone you did so they'll vote for you.

OK, that wasn't fair to Al. He didn't really make such a claim. It was a bad game of telephone.... but it does illustrate the point of the article.

People will make themselves bigger than life. They'll go on about their knowledge and achievements to anyone who'll listen, hoping it will filter up and help them climb over the people who are actually doing the work. I'm not ragging on legitimate bragging rights here. I'm just reminiscing a little about the corporate world I left to become a bead-maker. There are some loud people out there, basically starting rumors to put themselves in a positive light. I'm not sure if they believe they have the skills, or know they don't and think it's ok to get other people to believe they do.

I'm afraid it's no different in the lampworking world, or any other part of the world. There are legitimately earned reputations for excellence, there's some darned good, and legitimate, self-promotion by skilled artisans... then there's drama and people claiming to have invented this, that or the other and attacking others to bring attention to themselves. I was once told I have no taste because I stated I didn't care for a particular bead-maker's style, which was a statement of my personal taste (and the story of why I said it is too long to relate here, but came on the heels of a self-promotion campaign that negatively targeted someone else). There, her high station was preserved by bringing to the attention of every reader that I had no taste, which was a statement regarding my abilities. Without taste, I can make no good decision about aesthetics, now can I? Therefore, as an artist and craftsperson, I must suck because I don't value her style as highly as I should. I'm inherently flawed.

Games like that have always frustrated me because I work hard and prefer to work quietly, out of the limelight, happily drawing or painting or making beads in my shed. Now Details has informed me I can't get there with hard work alone, I have to get out there and tell everyone how great I am.

Well, darn.

I was very excited to find my sister, The Beadwife, was featured in the Editor's Top Picks section of Beads 2008, an Interweave Press special issue. Her set Fallen Sky is featured in page 16's Oceanic bead theme, and a set of her beautiful Peach Romance beads (pictured here) and a capped Lilac Romance focal are featured in the Organic theme on page 17. Way to go, sis!

Yes, it's a quote from Galaxy Quest (I love that movie!) and I'm using it to describe what's been happening with things in general and my website in particular.

I was having a problem with my sales email notifications, and then my Wordpress blog started saving multiple instances of drafts which was annoying as heck, and then I started having a database problem with my orders.

So, being one of those crazy people who rebuilds web sites for fun, I decided now is a good time to do it. I hadn't been posting new beads on the site because I was in the middle of my Etsy Spring Fling, and my son also had further assessment which turned up a significant learning disability, and I also shuffled my office out of my studio space and into the house (it's about halfway there, and my photo table isn't set up yet) so here I am starting with basically a blank slate with no beads in inventory.

I do have a pile waiting to be photographed, though, so during the next week new beads will start to appear.

Recently I received a little box of treasures from Bonnie Polinski of Art BuMPs, who makes lovely ceramic beads. I tell you, it felt like Christmas morning and Santa gave me the BEST presents ever! I can’t believe how richly the celadon color glows from these beads. The saucy sea nymph is 63mm tall, and yes, she is a bead! The round focal is 28mm across. Bonnie currently sells her work on Etsy, and I hope to see more of her lovely treasures listed there in the future.

Bonnie's Etsy site: http://artbumps.etsy.com/
Art BuMPs FocalArt BuMPs MermaidArt BuMPs Shells

Maricoli Beads Rosary: This beautiful rosary was made by Jennifer Sinclair of Miracoli Beads using a set of my Ruby Dapples.As January winds to a close, I look back on the past three months and am amazed at everything I’ve crammed into such a short span of time: a new home purchased and moved into, an old outbuilding converted to an office and studio (still in progress but I’m back to the torch!), three holiday observances (one with events spanning days), my son’s rite of passage to manhood (we bought him a shaver for Christmas) and his twelfth birthday, not to mention various other things having to do with recovering damages done to my old house and teaching my first art class to elementary school kids.

Whew!

But I am torching again, finally, and have sets that will be on my website for sale as soon as I get my photo booth set up, which will get set up as soon as I’ve sent self-representing designer Jennifer Sinclair at Miracoli Beads her latest order. I’m very excited to work with Jennifer because she is such a kind person as well as a talented designer. Jennifer’s work ranges from ethereal to an Old World stateliness that seems steeped in ages past. The rosary pictured above was made with my Ruby Dapple beads and is the first photo a designer has sent me of their work with my lampwork, and I love what she did with them. To see more of Jennifer's work, you can visit the Miracoli Beads website.

My dad is very near the end of his life’s journey, after battling cancer for the past several years. He struggles for breath, and to raise his hands to gesture. He’s only 64 years old.

Journey to Cerro AzulHe’s had this thing about using recycled bottle glass in art ever since I told him I was learning lampworking early last year, so a couple of weeks ago I made him some beer bottle beads and strung them on a hemp cord. He was too weak to describe his next project for me, so he used hand gestures to show me he wanted a lollipop twisted from two colors. I was skeptical because of the COE differences I might encounter, but I mashed up a green wine bottle to go with my microbrew brown and made a twisty out of it, then made a lollipop, which came out of the kiln perfectly and thrilled my dad to pieces. He hasn’t taken the necklace off since I gave it to him, and he keeps the lollipop on his bedside table.

Journey to the Surface of a StarMy relationship with my dad has always pushed my skills to new levels. Every art form I wanted to try, he’s been there to help set up the kiln, to salvage a sandblaster, to tinker and try things out with me. He’s always had such faith in my abilities. It makes me sad to realize it as he’s getting ready to depart this life, but I feel really lucky to share this with him.

Journey by Sea Working with the bottle glass was an epiphany of sorts. All of a sudden my hands got the feel of the glass in a different way, and I fell in love with it in a different way. I started working on slightly larger beads, and pushing the glass around in ways I haven’t been brave enough to. Out of this past couple of weeks has grown a series I call “Journey Beads”, named for my dad and his journey through life, and for my journey as well, that brought me back to sit at his bedside and talk about crazy art things while I watch him fade away, and try not to let him see me cry.

Journey WithinThe twists of color circling the beads represent our journey’s road, and the colors and swirls and twists are the things we experience along the way. At first I considered naming the beads for the journeys we take within, love and loss and shared experiences, and then I thought I should just leave them untitled and let them name themselves wherever they end up. I’m still very partial to that idea, but I’m giving them names for journeys to imaginary or exotic places instead, because I think my dad might like that. No matter where I go in life, he’ll be part of my journey.